Debunking The Matthew 19 ''Exception Clause'' Via The Greek

What about Matthew 19? Is the ''Exception Clause'' translated the right way?


Here's an audio from Dr. Leslie McFall Debunking the Matthew 19 ''Exception Clause'' via the Greek:

Divorce Takes Health Toll That Remarriage Can't Heal, Study Says

CNN) -- Divorce causes more than bitterness and broken hearts. The trauma of a split can leave long-lasting effects on mental and physical health that remarriage might not repair, according to research released this week.
Research shows health differences between people who are married and those who have gone through a divorce.
"People who lose a marriage take such damage to their health," said Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago in Illinois.
Waite and co-author Mary Elizabeth Hughes, of Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, found that divorced or widowed people have 20 percent more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes or cancer than married people. They also have 23 percent more mobility limitations, such as trouble climbing stairs or walking a block.
Their article, published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, examined the marital history and health indicators for 8,652 middle-aged people in research funded by the National Institute on Aging. The authors found differences between the overall health of those who remain married and those who divorce.
Almost half of all U.S. marriages end in divorce, according to the National Institutes of Health.
"Losing a marriage or becoming widowed or divorced is extremely stressful," Waite said. "It's financially, sometimes, ruinous. It's socially extremely difficult. What's interesting is if people have done this and remarried, we still see, in their health, the scars or marks -- the damage that was done by this event.
Divorced people "have more chronic conditions, more mobility limitations, rate their health as poorer than people like them in age, race, gender, education who've been married once and are still married," Waite said.
The authors assessed health by taking data in four categories: chronic conditions, mobility, depressive symptoms and their self-assessment.
Previous research has suggested that marriage has protective health benefits by providing financial, social and emotional stability.
Married women have more financial security, which means better access to health care and reduced stress, Waite said.
"Married men have better health habits," she said in comparison to single males. "They lead a cleaner, healthier life, and less times in bars and eat better. Women tend to manage men's interactions with the medical system, get him in for colonoscopy and make sure they get flu shot."
Mark Hayward, director of the Population Research Center and a professor of sociology Fellow at the University of Texas at Austin, said spouses check up on each other's needs. They remind each other about when to go see a doctor, a dentist or when to get a medical issue checked out.
"You're making decisions together about your lifestyle and investing in a future together," said Hayward, who was not involved in the latest research. But in a similar study, he found that divorce has a lasting impact on cardiovascular diseases, even after remarriage. His 2006 study, funded by the National Institute on Aging, found that divorced middle-aged women were 60 percent more likely to have cardiovascular disease than middle-aged women who remain married.
"There's no erasure of the effects of divorce," Hayward said. "There is intense stress leading up to divorce, stresses during divorce proceedings. Think of divorce as one of the most intense stressors. It leads to what we call dysregulation [impairment] in key cardiovascular process that may be permanently altered. You're not going back to your original set point."
Both genders suffer irreversible, detrimental effects on their health after losing marriage through a divorce or death of a spouse, according to the findings।
Those who did not remarry after a divorce or a spouse's death showed deficits in mental and physical health. Waite called this the "double whammy" because they don't get the protective effects of marriage and have gone through a "damaging, health-destroying experience."
They had worse health indicators than people who never married and therefore "didn't get the goods and didn't get the bads," Waite said.
People who remarried had better health than those who did not "If you loved and lost, did you find love again?" Waite said. "The people who did are doing better." But this group overall showed health deficits compared to those who remained married.

I Do Again by Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs

“I Do Again” by Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs is a great book। It is the story of their struggles with marriage and their development of their relationship with Jesus. Cheryl and Jeff got a divorce and seven years later saw their marriage restored, a miracle right before them. This book is the story of the journey they ventured. The perseverance through it all, the struggles they endured, the lessons they learned…. they both share their side of the hardest journey of their lives. But the awesome part is that God worked a miracle and when all seemed lost, He brought them first to Himself and then to each other. I highly recommend this book for every married couple. No one starts a marriage thinking that divorce could happen to them. Cheryl says that in the beginning she never thought divorce was an option for her, but somehow, she got there. Marriage is not about the husband and wife as much as it’s about Jesus and each one’s relationship with Him.

To Contact Jeff and Cheryl, please call 972.965.6941 or email them at http://www.hopeformarriages.com/cheryl@hopeformarriages.com

Meaning Of Marriage - John Piper

John Piper passionately talks about the unbreakable bond of marriage and how marriage is meant to convey the eternal truth of Christ and His Church.

It's when you start to take each other for granted

Dear Friend, Anyone who has ever studied what the Bible says about marriage will be familiar with Genesis 2:24, which describes God's plan for the relationship between a husband and wife. The King James Version reads: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Because it's so familiar, we often miss a very interesting word in the verse: cleave. That word is not exactly a normal word in our language; it means "to pursue with all of your energy." It's when you start to take each other for granted, though, that some couples begin to fall out of love. It literally means that you have to work. The formula is very simple: marriage is work, and it only works when we continuously work at it. But unfortunately, we do it backwards. Our tendency is to only work at a relationship at the beginning. Once we know we have "won" the person's affection, we typically get lazy. I remember when Karen and I first started dating. I was sixteen years old, and our first date, believe it or not, was a Three Dog Night concert. When I picked her up that night I was at my absolute best: I'd washed my car, I was wearing my nicest clothes, and was on my best behavior. She was impressed. But two years later--after we'd been together all that time--I wasn't giving a second thought to my car, my appearance, or my behavior. Why? Because she was already mine. You fall in love because you work at it; and all couples work at it in the beginning. It's when you start to take each other for granted, though, that some couples begin to fall out of love. We eventually stop working at our relationships. Or maybe we work on a few big events throughout the year--Valentine's Day, a birthday, an anniversary--and we hope that the dividends of our work will sustain us for the rest of the year. But it doesn't last. Love is the most perishable commodity on Earth, and unless you care for it every day, it can spoil. When God provided manna for the children of Israel, He commanded them to gather it fresh every morning. They couldn't store it because it would rot overnight. Why did He do this? To increase His children's dependence on Him and to demonstrate just how faithful He is. Marital love works the same way: it is only as strong as it is today. A marriage requires daily work and daily interaction. Many married people--especially husbands--look at marriage according to a point system: if we go shopping with her, we earn a point. Watching a romantic movie earns a point. Buying jewelry earns a lot of points. While this may be an acceptable way to think about meeting each other's needs, we need to remember that the points are like Cinderella's coach; they disappear at midnight. The next day, we start over. Marriage is daily work, just like God said at the very beginning. In Revelation 2:4, Jesus tells the church at Ephesus that they have forsaken their first love. He tells them to repent and return to the things that they were doing before. Many married people--whether they're struggling in marriage or are simply getting by--have forsaken the things they first did to impress their spouse. What if you returned to your first love? What if you worked hard again at that relationship? You might just fall in love...again. Blessings!

GOD WILL RESTORE YOUR MARRIAGE

GOD WILL RESTORE YOUR MARRIAGE
By Kristie & Connie

First let's talk about marriage:

MARRIAGE

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.Gen 2:24
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain (NEVER AGAIN TWO), but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matt 19:5-6
And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain (NEVER AGAIN TWO), but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mark 10:8-9
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh (A NEW 'BEING' CREATED BY GOD - "ONE FLESH") Eph 5:31

DIVORCE
"For I hate divorce" says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and (I also hate) him who covers his garment with wrong," says the Lord of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." Malachi 2:16

DATING AND GETTING MARRIED AGAIN

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication and shall marry another, commiteth adultery, and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt:19:9
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall putaway his wife, saving for the cause of fornication*, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32
And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. Mark 10:11
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. Luke 16:18

NOW THAT YOU ARE DIVORCED

But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 1 Cor 7:11
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace…(v.39) The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to who she will; only in the Lord. 1 Cor 7:15
For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. Rom 7:2-3.

SCRIPTURE THAT APPLIES TO THE UNSAVED AND SAVED

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
It hath been said WHOSOEVER shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I (Jesus) say unto you, That WHOSOEVER shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication*, causeth her to commit adultery; and WHOSOEVER shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:31,32
And I (Jesus) say unto you, WHOSOEVER shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication*, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and WHOSO marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9
And He (Jesus) saith unto them, WHOSOEVER shall put away his wife, and marry another, commiteth adultery against her. Mark 10:11
WHOSOEVER putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and WHOSOEVER marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. Luke 16:18

WHAT HAPPENS TO ADULTERERS AND WHOREMONGERS?

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Heb 13:4

ADULTERERS ARE NOT IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Cor 6:9-10
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife. Exodus 20:17
My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. Prov 7:1-2
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil. Eccles. 12:13-14
And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us. 1 John 3:24

FORGIVENESS FOR ADULTERY

He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso CONFESSETH and FORSAKETH them shall have mercy. Prov 28:13
By MERCY and TRUTH iniquity is purged: and by THE FEAR OF THE LORD men depart from evil. Prov 16:6
He that followeth after RIGHTEOUSNESS and MERCY findeth life, righteousness, and honor. Prov 21:21

WHY DIVORCE HAPPENS

Because of hardness of heart. NOT adultery, abuse, strife, contentiousness, etc. Because of hardness of heart. Forgive your brother 7 x 70.

* Forinication would happen prior to marriage, prior to the betrothal time... For instance, a man would be bethrothed to a woman because of an arranged marriage or whatever.

A woman could be a virgin and still married because back when this command was written the groom would become bethrothed/married but the marriage was not consummated because the groom had to go back to his fathers house and prepare a place for his wife.

If a woman lost her virginity during that time that he was building her a place, then she was an adulterer.

If a woman turned out to be an adulterer on the wedding night, he could "put her away" and divorce her.

If a woman was an adulterer AFTER the consumnation of the marriage, she was stoned to death, and he was free to remarry.

Because only at death are we able to remarry and not be an adulterer.

Harsher back then than now, huh?

Here again, God promises us that His word will not return to Him void, it will do what it says. Think about this marriage standers, God said, "What I have joined together, let man not separate."
MORE:
Mar 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mar 10:9 Let not that which has been joined together by God be parted by man.
Mar 10:9 No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together."
Mar 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put apart.

Can there be any other way to interpret this sentence spoken by God other then, what He joined together in marriage, no one can tear apart. And yes it is about marriage, it follows this scripture: Mar 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
Mar 10:7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife.
Mar 10:8 And the two of them shall be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Mar 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put apart.

FURTHER MORE, IT FOLLOWS THIS SCRIPTURE: Mar 10:2 And tempting Him, the Pharisees came to Him and asked Him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife?
Mar 10:3 And He answered and said to them, What did Moses command you?
Mar 10:4 And they said, Moses allowed a bill of divorce to be written, and to put her away.
Mar 10:5 And Jesus answered and said to them, He wrote you this precept because of the hardness of your hearts.
Mar 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
Mar 10:7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife.
Mar 10:8 And the two of them shall be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Mar 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put apart.

IMPORTANT NOTE HERE: Mar 10:5 And Jesus answered and said to them, He wrote you this precept because of the hardness of your hearts.

Hardness of hearts! Many try to quote the scriptures saying they can divorce if there is adultery. Problem is, the adultery clause was not the true reason Moses allowed divorce, and Jesus confirmed that it was not for the adultery, it was because of the hardness of hearts. This is because of logic, if both spouses hearts are hardened to one another, who will pray for the marriage, it becomes hopeless as far as the two spouses who are in it.

Jesus goes on to add this:
Mar 10:10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
Mar 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Did you know that every word written in the bible is God breathed. Written my men of God as told to them by God, and that every word in the bible is a promise from God, good and bad. If you live wickedly and in sin, you have the promises of His wrath and a eternity in hell. If you are a child of God and you turn your back on Him, you are sealed in Him and He promises to leave 99 of flock to go after you the one, and when He does it is not pretty, read Isaiah to see how your Father will punish you for wandering off. He does so out of love, just as a earthly father will punish his child for their own good, to save them from themselves and their folly. Yes God said that no one can remove one of His children from His hand, and He means it, even if it hurts the child to bring them back...and any of you that have not suffered a whipping from the Lord Your God, I advise you not go there! So know that if your spouse has went the way of the prodigal son, he or she will be waking up in the pig pen and returning back to the Lord! Guaranteed! God promises such!

2Co 1:20 For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us.

Heb 6:12 That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises.

2Pe 1:4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

So, as you can see, we have nothing to fear. If God said it, it is..plain and simple, and if we speak what He has to say about it, it just is..plain and simple. The angels will go forth and perform it. So speak His word and know that it has erupted a great movement in the Heavens and it shall be performed just as He spoke it and you are returning it to Him to be performed.

One last scripture concerning your marriage. One of the most black and white words of God that I think there is in the bible concerning marriage and a husband leaving his wife.

Mal 2:13 This is another thing you do. You drown the LORD's altar with tears, weeping and wailing because he no longer accepts the offerings you bring him.
Mal 2:14 You ask why he no longer accepts them. It is because he knows you have broken your promise to the wife you married when you were young. She was your partner, and you have broken your promise to her, although you promised before God that you would be faithful to her.
Mal 2:15 Didn't God make you one body and spirit with her? What was his purpose in this? It was that you should have children who are truly God's people. So make sure that none of you breaks his promise to his wife.
Mal 2:16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel. "I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife."
Mal 2:17 You have tired the LORD out with your talk. But you ask, "How have we tired him?" By saying, "The LORD Almighty thinks all evildoers are good; in fact he likes them." Or by asking, "Where is the God who is supposed to be just?"

Lets take a look at the first part of this chapter of scripture where He speaks of what He will do to the disobediant in the things He is addressing, which aimed towards the men who were marrying women who were not Christian, as well as men leaving their wives of covenant.

I had a stander ask me to scripturally give her something to take to her pastor that shows that her husband divorcing her and marrying the other women, that this marriage with this other women is not a covenant marriage and God will not acknowledge it as such.

Well, first of all, like we just took from the word above, Jesus told them that divorce was allowed only for hardening of hearts. Again, as I point out everytime I go over this scripture, that hearts is plural, not singular, meaning all it takes is one of those two hearts to be willing to reconcile and it shall be done. There has to be a hardening of both hearts, so I say to this stander that since she is standing, loves her husband and is working with the Lord to restore her marriage, then God is still honoring her marriage with her husband as convenant, and anyone else that he is with right now is done so in adultery. God does not honor a marriage of adultery, it is just what it is, adultery period, not a marriage.

Mar 10:5 And Jesus answered and said to them, He wrote you this precept because of the hardness of your hearts. (HEARTS)
Mar 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
Mar 10:7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife.
Mar 10:8 And the two of them shall be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Mar 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put apart. (LET MAN NOT SEPARATE!) AND THIS MEANS MAN, WOMAN, ADULTERESS, LAWYER, JUDGE AND SATAN HIMSELF!

Lets look at some other scripture that is black and white about divorcing and marrying another.

Rom 7:2 For the married woman was bound by law to the living husband. But if the husband is dead, she is set free from the law of her husband.
Rom 7:3 So then if, while the husband liveth, she be joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if the husband die, she is free from the law, so that she is no adulteress, though she be joined to another man.

Mar 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Mat 5:32 But I say to you that everyone who puts away his wife for any other cause but the loss of her virtue, makes her false to her husband; and whoever takes her as his wife after she is put away, is no true husband to her.
Mat 5:32 But now I tell you: if a man divorces his wife for any cause other than her unfaithfulness, then he is guilty of making her commit adultery if she marries again; and the man who marries her commits adultery also.
AND REMEMBER WHAT JESUS SAID IN THE BOOK OF MARK, HERE AGAIN IN MATTHEW HE GOES ON TO EXPLAIN AGAIN.....

Mat 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
Mat 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mat 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

MORE:
Luk 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

Exo 21:10 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

So what is there to argue I ask? Is Gods word not clear enough on divorce and remarriage? He hates it bottom line.

It is not that hard to figure out. God hates divorce and there really is no excuse for it. A hardened heart is a unforgiving heart, and a unforgiving heart is a sinful heart, God does not honor sin of any kind, He fowns on it, hates sin, and whomever lives in sin is not of God, is not living for God, honoring God, walking with God, obeying Gods laws and commands, and is living in death, heading for the grave, for the pit of hell. There is not way to twist it and make it fit in another way.

There is a difference in what a man does in ignorance of Gods laws. When a man does not know God and he lives by the ways of the world, then he finds God and gives his life over to God, he is forgiven for all he done before that point, and will not be held accountable, his sins are washed away, cast out into the sea and no more. But a man who knows God, he is no longer ignorant and there is no excuse for what he does in sin, he will be judged for it, and our spouses who know God, who are prodigals and backslidden, they are in trouble for sure and Gods hand is upon them and it is not going to be pleasent, you can be assured of that. God will shake the sin from their lives and save them again if we stand and pray for them.

God bless...

Wedding Vows Are Sacred Vows

by David Padfield

"I, John take thee Mary to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till in death we part, and with this ring I thee wed, and with my body I thee honor, and pledge my faithfulness."

Every day thousands of couples stand before a preacher, a judge or some justice of the peace and exchange wedding vows. On many occasions I have watched a groom nervously fidget with his tie as the music played and as he waited for the love of his life to make her appearance and be escorted down the aisle by her father. When the music changed to the wedding processional, the entire audience stood and watched a beautiful young woman walk down the aisle. There, in the presence of God and their witnesses another young couple exchanged vows and were bound together in marriage.

Many of these couples will break their vows within a matter of weeks (if not days). Some couples do not take their vows seriously and thus pay little attention to the words they speak at their wedding. Recently I had a man ask me for a copy of the wedding vows -- he said he was so nervous when he got married he couldn't recall exactly what he had promised to do!

There is no legal requirement that vows actually be exchanged in a wedding ceremony. I always have couples repeat their vows -- not only for the benefit of the audience, but also for their own benefit. It might very well be that some people do not keep their vows simply because they did not understand what they were promising to do.

In this article I would like to examine the vows preachers usually have couples exchange on the day of their wedding.

"To Be My Wedded Spouse"

This is recognition of the fact that you are not going to be just "living together," but that you are entering into a contract -- a covenant relationship. Those in the days of Malachi forgot that the Lord had been a "witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant" (Mal. 2:14).

Solomon, Israel's wise king, warned his son about the immoral woman "who forsakes the companion of her youth, and forgets the covenant of her God" (Prov. 2:17).

So holy is the marriage relationship that Paul could only liken it to the relationship of Christ and His church (Eph. 5:22-31).

When a couple gets married they are giving their word -- their sacred honor -- that they will keep the promises they make on that day. These vows should be sacred to them, for they are sacred to God.

"To Have And To Hold From This Day Forward"

This part of the vow speaks of companionship. Sometimes young people get married and want to keep on acting like they are single so they can hang out with their friends. When you get married your closest companion is to be your spouse. Many young people do not know this, for they did not see it in the homes they grew up in -- their parents were strangers to each other.

One of the greatest things you can do for your children is to make sure they know that their parents are still madly in love with each other.

Old television programs, like the Dick Van Dyke Show, used to show married couples sleeping in separate beds -- that is not a healthy picture of a good marriage. Children need to see that daddy came home from work and pinched mommy and mommy liked it! They need to see their parents hold hands in the mall and give tokens of affections to one another like cards and flowers. It affirms to the child that they live in a stable home.

"For Richer Or Poorer"

Here you are vowing to love and honor each other regardless of whether you live in a million-dollar mansion or a rented apartment.

Financial problems are a leading cause of divorce in this country -- many of the problems start before the wedding day. A lot of young girls (who think they are grown women) marry some young man who doesn't have a great future -- then they expect him to furnish a home like their parents had -- even though it took their parents 25 years of hard work to acquire what they have.

Some young men think they have to have the hottest, fastest car in order to attract a young woman -- they usually end up with someone who is a lot more interested in possessions than in him.

"In Sickness And In Health"

I don't care how healthy you are now, but if you don't die in an auto accident you are probably going to get sick before you die. A very large percentage of men will suffer from a short-term disability sometime before they are fifty years of age. And even if you don't get really sick, you are going to get old!

I once heard a woman who was suffering from a disability say, "I wish my husband would just divorce me so he could get on with his life." What she didn't realize was that her disability was a part of her husband's life -- he vowed before God that he would stay with her "in sickness and in health."

"To Love And To Cherish"

In the Bible the word "love" is not spoken of as an emotion, but rather, it is an action. This is why love can be commanded. Paul spoke of how Christ "loved me and gave Himself for me" (Gal. 2:20). I might not have warm feelings toward my enemies, but I am still commanded to love them (Matt. 5:44). My next door neighbor might be a real jerk, but I am commanded to love him as myself (Matt. 22:39). My wife might treat me bad and I might feel sorry for myself, but I am commanded to love her as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25) and she is commanded to love me (Titus 2:4). In the New Testament "love" means to "seek the highest good" of another person.

Men often fail to keep the vow they made to "cherish" their wife. When they were dating he always looked his best, sent flowers, cards or other tokens of affection and spoke tenderly to his beloved. Why stop this "cherishing" of your spouse just because you got married?

When the Lord made Eve He did not just make a copy of Adam who was capable of bearing children. The difference between husbands and wives involves a lot more than the reproductive system. Husbands are commanded "dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered" (1 Peter 3:7). Part of dwelling with them "with understanding" involves realizing that, generally speaking, women are more in touch with their emotions than men are. Husbands should not resent this -- they should rejoice in it!

"Till In Death We Part"

Marriage is a lifelong contract. In marriage, we are "bound by the law" to our spouse as long as they live (cf. Romans 7:1-3).

Divorces are too easy to get in this country. At every wedding ceremony I preach I remind the couple before me that Malachi said "God hates divorce" (Mal. 2:16).

I remind young couples that when trouble comes in their marriage, as it often does, divorce is not an option for either one of them. It is possible that one day their friends might encourage them to get a divorce. Their friends and relatives might forget the vows they took on that day, but God will not!

"With This Ring I Thee Wed"

For centuries the wedding ring has been the emblem of eternity -- symbolizing the lifelong commitment made on the day of one's wedding. The ring is a token to remind the individual that they are married, and to signal other folks to stay clear!

In the wedding ceremony I usually tell the couple before me to "Let it serve as a reminder of the covenant you made this day before God and these witnesses."

"With My Body I Thee Honor"

The Bible teaches that we are to honor our spouse with our bodies. The apostle Paul told the Hebrew brethren that "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Heb. 13:4).

In marriage God has given instructions concerning sexual intercourse. Paul wrote, "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (1 Cor. 7:3-5). According to this passage, the rights of a wife are equal to that of her husband in the marital bed. Abstaining from sexual intercourse is only permissible when it is by mutual consent and for a short period of time when they are both given unto prayer and fasting. Sex is not to be used as a bartering chip in marriage!

Through inspiration Solomon told his son to find sexual fulfillment within marriage. "Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?" (Prov. 5:15-20).

Jesus taught that it is possible for one to "cause" their spouse to commit adultery (Matt. 5:32). If a person refuses to honor their spouse with their own body they can cause their marriage partner to commit adultery -- in this case both parties have sinned and stand guilty before God of breaking their wedding vows.

"And Pledge My Faithfulness"

So serious is the marriage covenant that God has only allowed one reason for a person to divorce their spouse and marry another, i.e., sexual immorality (Matt. 19:9).

The book of Proverbs speaks at great length about the necessity of sexual fidelity. "For the commandment is a lamp, and the law is light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids. For by means of a harlot a man is reduced to a crust of bread; and an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent. People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving. Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold; he may have to give up all the substance of his house. Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; he who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get, and his reproach will not be wiped away. For jealousy is a husband's fury; therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will accept no recompense, nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts." (Proverbs 6:23-35).

Conclusion

If you have taken wedding vows then you need to continue to take them seriously. If you are having problems in your marriage don't think that they will get better by leaving the Lord. Your marriage will be enriched and your home blessed only as you both walk with the Lord.

A wedding vow is not the only life-altering vow you can make -- you can become a Christian and dedicate your life in service to your King. Serve the Lord and honor Him all the days of your life!

Till Death Do Us Apart... A Vow To Cherish

Excerpt from the movie "A Vow To Cherish" with a very important message.

Adultery in the Church

Adultery in the Church

By Steve Flinchum

Published by:

Landmark Archiving and Multimedia Publishing Co.

P.O. Box 121 Annville, KY 40402

PREFACE

Desiring the maximum effectiveness and readability for these pages I feel the need for a few lines here for definition and clarity. First of all, in the title I use the term "the church." I do not refer to any kind of universal church, neither visible nor invisible. A New Testament church is always a local and visible body of born-again and baptized believers with Christ as her head and the Bible as her guide. As we might speak of "the husband" or "the wife" in a generic sense without any allusion to any kind of universal invisible husband or wife, I use the term "the church" in the generic sense in the title.

The picture of a building is employed on the cover as a readily recognizable symbol. Let us remember that the Bible never uses the word "church" to refer to a building but to the congregation.

Given the nature of the subject and title, the use of the scarlet letter "A" in the steeple and windows was irresistible. The use of the steeple in the illustration is not intended as an endorsement of their presence on Baptist meeting-houses. The best we can determine is that the use of steeples or spires on houses of worship originated with their use as objects to attract and please the sex goddesses. If that is so, perhaps it is all the more fitting that it be used as it is in the illustration.

The regard of people for marriage is shaped by their beliefs as to the primary purpose of it. Some have regarded its primary purpose as that of procreation. Many recognize its value to the maintenance of order in society as the primary importance. Others hold the pleasure or security they may be beneficiary of in the highest esteem. In our present day of a pleasure seeking, thrill seeking, throw-away, blame it on someone else society when we are constantly appealed to with "get the cash you deserve now," "return it if you don’t like it," and "tell them you mean business" solicitations, respect for the concept of life-long marriage seems to be at an all-time low. It is only when a right biblical understanding of God’s purpose and intention for marriage is held that marriage can be appreciated with the esteem it is due. God instituted marriage with the intention of using it to teach truths with typology about His chosen nation, about His New Testament churches, about the bride of Christ, and even about salvation. It is hoped that God will use the following pages for the edification of the reader.

Continue Reading Full Article:

http://members.prtcnet.org/flinchum/adultery

Critique Of Divorce And Remarriage

Leslie McFall
27 December, 2006


David Instone-Brewer, Divorce and Remarriage in the Church: Biblical Solutions for Pastoral Realities (Carlisle: Paternoster Press, 2003)

SUMMARY OF MAJOR PROBLEMS WITH THIS NEW TEACHING

There are a number of serious problems, conjectures, and imaginative leaps, behind the pages of this work, resulting in a new doctrine. These will need to be addressed before a single church leader would even begin to countenance its conclusion as a serious understanding of Jesus’ teaching, let alone a proficient understanding of the rabbinic material itself.

The reviewer is coming from a completely different interpretation of Jesus’ clear teaching on divorce and marriage. Jesus ruled out any divorce for any reason for a lawfully married couple, be they both non-Christians or both Christians. Both Mark and Luke teach this without any qualification.

The reviewer’s translation of Matthew 19:9 is, “Now I say to you that, who, say, may have put away his wife—not [he may put away] for fornication—and may marry another becomes adulterous [against her].” The clause between the m-dashes is the so-called exceptive clause, which has been traditionally understood by the Reformation Churches, but not by the Catholic Church, to grant a divorce in the case of fornication. It does the opposite. It specifically rules out divorce for fornication.

Under the Mosaic law the punishment for fornication was death, not divorce. Jesus’ statement supports the death penalty for those living ‘under the Law’. This puts tremendous pressure on all Jews who continue to live under the Law. They have no alternative but to kill their adulterous wives, but they dare not do this if they themselves are living adulterous lives. So it is a two-way deterent on either partner to have sex outside the God-ordained marriage context. The Law has locked all husbands into a penalty they cannot go through with without condemning themselves. Jesus does not say, “Let him who is without sin in the area of sexual faithfulness, cast the first stone,” but rather, “Let him who is without sin—any sin—cast the first stone.” This ruling made it impossible for them to stone any wife for adultery. However, Jesus’ death freed all men from keeping the Mosaic Law. We are not under Law but under grace. All sins are to be forgiven, including adultery and fornication. Excommunication from His Body, the Church, is the only sanction open to the Church in the case of unrepentant ‘Christian’ adulterers.

OBJECTIONS TO THE NEW TEACHING ON DIVORCE

First, there is no engagement in this book with Jesus’ own statements in which He refuses to allow divorce on any grounds in His new Kingdom of God. When Jesus was asked the question about permitting divorce in Matthew 19:3, He replied by asking a question in return. Jesus’ question conveys His surprise that they have not read what His Father had said in Genesis 2:24. They ought to have read it, is his implied rebuke. Instead, they had focused on Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Following His rebuke for not concentrating on Genesis 2:24, He then quotes it. But it is His deduction from this text that really surprised them. The lesson Jesus drew from this proof text was that it was illegal for any man to divorce his wife. That they understood Jesus correctly comes out in their second question: “(If you are right) Why, therefore, did Moses command to give a bill of departure and to divorce her?” They evidently saw a clear contradiction between what Moses commanded and what Jesus commanded. Jesus had overridden Moses and sidelined his teaching as obsolete and irrelevant for His followers. Jesus then undercuts their own position by pointing out that the law on divorce did not come from His Father, but from Moses, or rather, from themselves. They demanded it. They pressed Moses to give it to them. They refused to forgive their wives. They hardened their hearts. Moses simply gave in to their demand. So the origin for the law of divorce sprang from the unregenerate heart of man, and not from God. It originates from sin, not from God.

The author claims to have read the passages on divorce through the eyes of contemporary Jews, but he has failed to read Jesus’ teaching through the eyes of His contemporaries. They clearly recognised that Jesus had abolished divorce for any reason, and this astonished them so greatly that they were impelled to ask, “Why, therefore, did Moses permit . . . ?”

Second, the author makes a bold claim, which he cannot substantiate with any evidence, that the phrase ‘any cause’ in Matthew 19:9 is a ‘highly specialised legal term’, and refers to a particular kind of divorce created by Rabbi Hillel prior to the birth of Jesus. This is pure conjecture.

Third, the author overlooked the important word “all” in the Greek in Matthew 19:9. He has mistranslated it as “any”, with the consequent error of identifying Matthew’s “every cause” with Hillel’s so-called ‘Any Cause’. The author has created the fiction of a legal divorce procedure called the ‘Any Cause’ divorce. Nowhere in rabbinic literature is Hillel’s difference of exegesis with Shammai over the interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1, captured in a slogan or catch-word phrase. The author, himself, has created the fiction of a legal divorce called ‘Any Cause’.

Fourth, throughout his work the author refers to ‘Any Cause’ as if it was known by every Jew living in Jesus’ day. Indeed, the author claims that so well-known was the legal term that Mark felt he could omit it without confusing his readers. This conjecture and claim comes out of the imagination of the author. There is no evidence for such a claim.

Fifth, another claim without any evidence is that the Hillel interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1 was universally accepted by all Jews everywhere, and that all divorces from the second-century onwards were based on Hillel’s interpretation. We simply have no evidence for this. This, too, emanates from the imagination of the author.

Sixth, Hillel argued that the Hebrew term dãbãr in Deuteronomy 24:1 meant ‘a thing’, which is correct. The author, however, has subtly altered this to mean ‘any thing’, and from there he created the legal fiction of an ‘Any Cause’ style of divorce. If he had kept to what Hillel had said, he should have conjectured that Hillel created ‘A Matter’ divorce. So that if someone wanted to use some fault he found in his wife, he could call it a ‘Matter’, a dãbãr, and he could obtain his separation under this single word term. But the author was drawn to the translation of ‘any cause’ in the English translations, and assumed that it might refer to Hillel’s ‘Matter’ divorce.

Seventh, the above instance of following English translations of the primary material, led the author to make two more similar errors. He noticed that Josephus was translated as: “for whatsoever cause (kaq∆ aJsdhpotou'n aijtiva").” The similarly with Matthew 19:9 is obvious in the English, but not in the Greek. The author clearly did not consult the Greek. The same methodological error was repeated when he noticed that Philo was translated as: “for any cause whatever [kaq∆ h}n].” (See §13.1 in the detailed analysis.)

Eighth, the similarity in the English translations, led the author to make a fundamental error. He made the following false steps. First, he took Hillel’s ‘matter’ and added ‘any’ to it, to give ‘any matter’. Why? because he wanted to connect it with ‘every cause’ in Matthew 19:9. He then converted his newly created ‘any matter’ into a legal phrase with initial capital letters. Why? because the question in Mark asked if it was lawful to divorce, which was a stupid question to ask (he thought), given that Moses authorised divorces. By altering ‘every cause’ in the parallel in Matthew 19:9 to ‘Any Cause’, he could then claim that he had found a connection between Hillel’s legal term and the assumed popular ‘Any Cause’ divorce which Hillel introduced into Judean life. From this conjecture he then needed to explain why ‘every cause’ (which he misread as ‘any cause’) was omitted in Mark, so he needed ‘evidence’ that everyone was so familiar with the term that it could be left out. The ‘evidence’ he needed, he found in the English translations of Josephus and Philo.

It is clear from this catalogue of errors and from the fact that they are all connected through English translations, that the author is either slap-dash in his approach[1] or he is unable to work with the primary material itself. This work is based totally on English translations, and this has proved its downfall.

Ninth, the author has a low view of the integrity, inspiration, and infallibility of Scripture, when it suits his argument. This comes out clearly in Chapter 12 with his imaginative scenario of a series of ‘barriers’ through which Jesus’ teaching had to pass to reach us. These were no barriers to the Church because Greek was the universal language. But the author needed ‘barriers’ in order to explain why his new discovery could have got lost.

If one has to lessen the integrity of Scripture, and the integrity of the Apostles and the leaders who followed them, in order to facilitate the acceptance of a new doctrine, this is a weakness in itself. It has the appearance of being contrived for the purpose of raising its chances of being accepted.

Tenth, one marvels at the extent to which a writer will go to distort in order to gain a place for his view. The author makes the surprising assertion that: “In the context of this emphasis against sex, it was natural that the 2nd-century Church would assume that Jesus taught remarriage was equivalent to sexual immorality and would not be surprised when he [Jesus] appeared to identify remarriage with ‘adultery’” (p. 145). He also states, “The stand which the 2nd-century church took against sexual immorality made their new emphasis against remarriage (a misinterpretation of Jesus’ teaching) seem normal. Once this new interpretation had become church doctrine it was difficult for the church to come to terms with the fact that a misunderstanding had taken place” (p.154).

This illustrates compartmental thinking. No regard is taken of a full century of abiding by Jesus’ teaching on ‘no divorce, and no remarriage’. Instead, the author begins the second-century as if the Church had no past history, and no deeply entrenched, universal tradition, and no sharp memory of what Jesus taught. The author conjures up a scenario in which the Church was faced with promiscuous sex all around and it reacted so strongly against this free sex that it assumed that Jesus taught that remarriage was equivalent to sexual immorality or adultery. Even if the Church took a stand against sexual immorality, how did it get from its once clear opposition to all divorce and remarriage to condemning all remarriages as adulterous relationships? The assumption must be that from Jesus’ day the Church already regarded all unlawful remarriages as adulterous unions. They never changed His teaching. As early as the first Council of Jerusalem, the Church took its stand against sexual immorality (Acts 15:29, ‘to abstain from fornication’), and this was before AD 70! The second-century was no different from the first-century in this regard.

Eleventh, there is the assumption throughout the book that the rabbis, particularly Shammai and Hillel, permitted divorce for adultery, and that in Jesus’ day the death penalty was no longer applied.

First, Jesus said, ‘And I say to you, that, whoever may put away his wife, except for adultery, and may marry another, commits adultery; and he who did marry her that has been put away, commits adultery.’ (Here I have retained the incorrect Erasmian translation of all major English translations.) If Jesus is making provision for divorce for adultery (as these versions translate Him), then He is in direct conflict with the Law of God.

Second, even the Mishnah upheld the death penalty for adultery (Mish. Sanh. 7.3, 9; B. Sanh. 52b, 55b, 66b). The tractate Sota provided the interpretation of the Num 5 passage, stating that the bitter water test ceased when adultery became common (Mish. Sota 9.9). The spirit of adultery (Sota 4b) and lust were censured (Yoma 29a, Nid. 13b), which Jesus took from His own theology.

We simply have no evidence at all that the Jews up to the time of the codification of their laws in the Mishnah and the Talmuds ever permitted divorce for adultery. It was against the Law to divorce for adultery. It is unlikely that Jesus was the first rabbi to change the Torah Law and substitute divorce for the death penalty for adultery. Indeed, the most natural translation of Matthew 19:9 shows that Jesus reinforced the Law that divorce could not be had for fornication. , ‘And I say to you that who, say, may put away his wife—not [he may put away] for fornication—and may marry another, commits adultery.’

That Jesus did not condemn the penalty of stoning the adulterer (cf. NIDNTT 2:582–84) can be explained on a number of levels. (1) He did not come to judge the world or individual adulterers. He was an ordinary citizen of the Jewish nation. He had no position of authority within the leadership of His nation. (2) Two witnesses were required to put anyone to death (Dt 17:6). These would need to be examined by judges, not by an ordinary citizen who was shunned by the religious establishment. (3) According to the Law (Dt 22:22), the man who committed adultery with the woman had also to be stoned. If she was caught in the ‘every act’ then the man should have been too. Why was he not brought before Jesus? (4) Jesus stood between the two Covenants, fulfilling the Old and introducing the New. He gave priority to the New, while fulfilling the Old in His lifestyle. He lived ‘under the Law’ to redeem those under the Law. (5) God would judge those outside the Church who committed adultery, while Christ would judge those inside the Church, who made up His Body (1 Cor 6), the new Israel of God. All capital offences in the Old Covenant were commuted to excommunication from His Body by being ‘handed over to Satan,’ resulting in a spiritual death penalty if repentance did not follow. In this higher, and deeper, sense Jesus affirmed the death penalty for adultery. (See the preamble to this critique above for another, telling reason.)

Twelfth, A surprising methodological defect is the complete absence of a detailed study of the divorce texts themselves.

Thirteenth, another surprising defect about this book is that the author is so intent on reading the text through the eyes of Jesus’ contemporaries that he failed to notice that even if Matthew 19:3 was a direct reference to Hillel’s teaching on divorce, and that Matthew 5:32 was a direct reference to Shammai’s teaching on divorce, the references are irrelevant to Jesus’ new teaching on divorce. Jesus dismissed in one sentence all Pharisaic teaching on the subject because they bypassed the teaching in Genesis 2:24 and settled for something less than His Father expected from all human beings. This teaching, He intimated, preceded Moses’ teaching, therefore they should go back to the first thing God taught about marriage and focus on Genesis 2:24 and forget about Deuteronomy 24:1-4 completely as a sub-standard, debased and degrading level of existence, which was introduced by men for men. No wonder Jesus threw the lot out as vigorously as He threw out the money-changers in the Temple.

By abolishing divorce altogether, Jesus made it clear that a power outside man—the Holy Spirit—was needed to come in and lift man out of the sordid, hard-hearted world into which all men are born, and enable them to rise to a level of spirituality that could forgive seventy times seven. This power is what distinguishes Jesus’ followers from all other religions of the world. And Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce distinguishes His true followers from all other religions. No other religion can rise above the fleshly level of the Mosaic divorce law, for all, without exception, practice divorce with hard, unregenerate hearts. They all share in a theology of accommodation and compromise from the spiritual law written in Genesis 2:24. The religion of the Lord Jesus Christ stands head and shoulders above all other religions, because it alone makes no allowance for hard-hearted and unforgiving individuals. Many attempts have been made to bring Christ down to the level of Moses, and this book, sadly, is in this category.

END
27 December, 2006
DR. LESLIE McFALL
E-mail: lmf12@talk21.com
__________________________

A Song Of Hope

Rascal Flatts To Make Her Love Me Lyrics
Songwriters: De Marcus, Jay; Mobley, Wendell Lee; Thrasher, Neil;



"To Make Her Love Me"

You waved your hand and it was done
So let it be and there it was
A mountain, so high, it broke through, the sky
A canyon, so deep, it'll bring a man to his knees

[Chorus]
I've seen what you can do
I've seen you make miracles and hopeless dreams come true
You've made the heavens and the stars
Everything, come on how hard
Could it be, To make her love me?

I've said some things I shouldn't have
Tried everything to win her back
I'm human, I messed up, Is she gone?, Are we done?
Forgiveness, another chance, that's all I want, it's in your hands

[chorus]
I've seen what you can do
I've seen you make miracles and hopeless dreams come true
You've made the heavens and the stars
Everything, come on how hard
Could it be, To make her love me?

[Chorus]

To make her love me
To make her love me (oooo)

What Does God Say About Marriage?

Marriage is not an invention of man. God instituted marriage. According to God's plan, man and woman together form the unit of humanity. A man or a woman alone is only part of an entirety. 

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him'" (Gen. 2:18).

"Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said:

'This is now bone of my bone

And flesh of my flesh; 

She shall be called Woman, 

Because she was taken out of Man.' 

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Gen. 2:22-24)

This text contains several beautiful statements.

Adam received his wife as a gift from God. In a sense it is still true that a man receives his wife from God. Solomon says: 

"Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, 

But a prudent wife is from the Lord" (Proverbs 19:14).

We also see that marriage is good. Solomon says in another place: 

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing,

And obtains favour from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22).

We also see how strong the marriage bond is, so strong that they are no longer two but are melted together as one flesh.

This bond is so strong that it is broken only by death. As long as they live they are one together. They may not separate. Jesus quoted this passage when He was asked about marriage:

"The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?' And He answered and said to them, 'Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning "made them male and female," and said, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.' They said to Him, 'Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?' He said to them, 'Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery'" (Mat. 19:3-9).

In this passage in Genesis we also see how dependent man and woman are on each other. They need each other. Paul says:

"Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as the woman was from the man, even so the man also is through the woman; but all things are from God" (1 Cor. 11:11,12).

Marriage is an institution of God and is a continuation of His work of creation. Sexual desires are God-given. We should view our manliness or womanliness as a gift from God which we receive with thankfulness and strive to keep holy and pure in accordance with His instructions.

To preserve the sanctity of marriage and the well-being of man, God has established certain laws regarding sexual activities. Before we discuss these we must be sure we understand how a marriage comes into being.

First we will discuss some wrong definitions of marriage. Then we will give the definition we find in the Bible.

Marriage is not a sacrament, as is taught in some churches. In the Scriptures, marriage is an institution in society that is of divine origin. It is governed by the laws of God and by the regulations of the society in which one lives to the extent that they do not conflict with the laws of God. A marriage may take place in a church building, and it is certainly in order for Christians to pray and ask God's blessing on a marriage. But a marriage is not in and of itself a religious ceremony.

Nor is marriage a private agreement between a man and a women. This idea is often used as an excuse for unchastity before marriage. The argument is made: "Although we have not been officially married, we have agreed between ourselves to be married, so actually we are already married." This idea is contrary to the Scriptures. In the Bible a marriage always takes place according to certain norms of society and always involves other people who serve as witnesses. A marriage is an occurrence before God and before man. A Christian is obligated to abide by the laws of the society in which he lives to the extent that they do not conflict with the laws of God. Paul says: 

"Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgement on themselves" (Rom. 13:1,2).

The laws of God and of society are for the purpose of protecting the parties involved and society in general. Thus a marriage is more than a private agreement between a man and a woman.

What constitutes a marriage? In the Scriptures we find various forms of marriages at different times and in different societies, but certain elements are always present.

Examples of marriage formalities: In early times, for example, the groom went to the house of the parents of his bride. There was a marriage feast. Then he took his bride home with him. In the time of Christ the marriage formalities were very complicated. First, the man had to pay a certain sum of money to the parents of the girl. Then there was a period of one year's betrothal. During that year the two were already bound to one another by legal contract but they were not allowed to live as man and wife until the actual marriage ceremony. It consisted of a great feast that sometimes lasted several days.

Whatever the form, however, the marriage was always a formal occurence at a certain time involving a contract between a man and a woman with other people as witnesses. Only after the requirements were fulfilled were they married.

What is required, according to Scriptures, to preserve the sanctity of marriage?

First, men and women are to remain virgin until marriage. All sexual relations outside of marriage are forbidden by God and are referred to as fornication, a sin which had the death penalty under the Old Covenant. Under the New Covenant one can be forgiven and purified by the blood of Christ. It is a sin, however, which is extremely damaging to those concerned, to society and to marriage as an institution.

After marriage one is to have sexual relations only with the marriage partner. Sexual relations with any other is adultery, which also earned the death penalty under the Old Covenant. We read in Hebrews 13:4 that God wants marriage to be preserved from the damage caused by these two sins:

"Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Heb. 13:4).

From this text we see once more that marriage is pure and holy. Fornication and adultery damage marriage, however, and God will hold those who engage in such practices responsible on the day of judgement.

The marriage contract includes sexual responsibilities. Paul says: 

"Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (1 Cor. 7:3-5).

The wife is to submit to the authority of her husband and the husband is to love his wife as his own body:

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Eph. 5:22-33).

This does not mean that a man may misuse his authority, because if he loves his wife he will sacrifice for her as Christ did for the church. It does mean, however, that he is the head of the family. As head he also bears the first responsibility. He can provide the needed leadership only if his wife respects and submits to his authority.

God's regulations relative to marriage are strict. This is because He values marriage highly for the well-being of man. God's laws and regulations have no other purpose than the ultimate happiness of man. Let us follow the word of God in this matter. Marriage is a gift of God. He will help us to have a good marriage if we obey His word and if we pray for His blessings, help and guidance in our lives.

Article By Roy Davison

Love Is Divine Music Video By Ruth Greene -

The Scripture quotations in this article are from The New King James Version. ©1979,1980,1982, Thomas Nelson Inc., Publishers. Permission for reference use has been granted.